The Importance Of Living In The "Now"

It's very easy to get caught up in living 10 steps ahead...

I'll be happy when I get that promotion

I'll be happy when I get that new boyfriend

I'll be happy when I move to that big house

I'll be happy when I go on that vacation

I'll be happy when I get that new car...

We are constantly wishing for something in the future. And although I think there's nothing wrong with having dreams and hopes for the future... I think it is SO important to remember to HAVE FUN NOW!!!

For example: my trip to Vancouver...

Could I have thought of a million reasons why I should stay home.. get things done... work ...... but I chose to spend a girls weekend in Vancouver... and I have to tell you it was the most REFRESHING WEEKEND EVER!

I enjoyed myself... I indulged .... I took a minute to forget about what's "next" and just enjoy THE NOW! and I'm SO GLAD I DID IT!!!

I'm not sitting at the airport .. looking back at my weekend with the biggest smile on my face..

 And tomorrow... I will resume with my life and keep moving and grinding forward... 

But I'm so glad I took the time to get away and let my mind relax ! 

On My Heart Today #365DaysOfSingle

I don't know why but this quote was really on my heart today....

I think so often (myself included) we focus on the things that we aren't in life instead of being proud of what we are...

We tend to think ... "I'm NOT a size zero, I'm NOT at the point in my career I want to be... I'm NOT in my dream home.. I'm NOT at the place in life I wanted to be at this age..."

Instead of hammering into the things that we AREN'T ... we really need to focus on what we ARE in life..

"I AM healthy.. I'm on the path I'm supposed to be in.. I'm STRONG.. I have big goals... I will GET THERE ONE DAY!"

In terms of dating ... especially In LA I've dated girls who have dated models... actresses... you NAME IT... and often I find I'm comparing myself to the people these guys USED to date..

In reality I have am unique and have so much to offer someone... the minute I stopped comparing myself was the minute I felt my walls come down...

The feeling of self-worth is priceless ... and that came when I STOPPED comparing myself..

THIS QUOTE THO #365DaysOfSingle

Sometimes you come across something on instagram that just makes you smile...

and THIS is exactly what happened when I saw this quote....

It gives me hope... And I love it so much so I wanted to pass on to all of you :)

Especially those of you that are on this journey with me... Enjoy this time... have fun! Because you won't be "dating" forever :) 

Mr. Green #365DaysOfSingle

Again this process is proving to be beneficial!!

I met this guy ... I'm just going to name him "Mr. Green" .... (for the girls that were with me this night, you are the only ones that will know why I gave him this nickname).

He's a guy... who I would normally not have spent 2 minutes with. But he approached me and within 10 minutes was making me feel so good about myself.....

By the end of the night I ended up giving him my #... not expecting anything out of it... but with the 'why not' mentality...

In the past I was so quick to write men off.... thinking "I would never meet someone at a place like this" or whatever the case may be...

I'm now not writing ANYONE off... and just enjoying!

And Mr. Green ... even if I never hear from you again... thank you for your kind words that night! I'll remember them forever :) 

Enjoying This Season #365DaysOfSingle

We all go through different seasons of life... 

single

student  

married

no kids

kids

move to a new state  

move to a new country

start a new job  

deal with illness

whatever the case may be we are all in different seasons of our life..

and if you're like me, you are always trying to rush to get to the next one. 

I never fully allow myself to enjoy the season of life that I'm currently in... Until now!!

i am committing to 365 days of single and I'm going to enjoy it for every single minute ... 

every weird date I go on -- I'll learn. Every amazing date I go on -- I'll get better. Every night I stay in -- I'll cherish. 

 Every episode of Girlfriends Guide to Divorce I want to watch back to back for hours without having to answer to anyone... You bet, I'm going to freaking enjoy it!!

Having It All #365DaysOfSingle

Ever since I was little to me "having it all" meant having a job I enjoyed, a husband I loved, and a family to take care of....

at one point in my life I thought I would have been married with baby on the way by 25! 

When my expectation for that relationship crumbled my entire world flipped upside down. 

and as each year passed I felt myself just getting further and further behind on my timeline.. 

it it wasn't until I realized that "having it all" didn't look like anything I had dreamt up. 

i have beautiful relationships in my life and more love than I ever imagined possible... 

i have reached career goals that I always thought were so far from any kind of reality... 

even though I haven't checked off all the boxes I had intended to by this age... I have by far exceeded my own expectations ... And have even created bigger dreams!

to me .. My new definition of "having it all" is being happy, being grateful, loving my life (the big things and the small), having meaningful relationships, and enjoying my life for everything it has to offer in each season that I'm in! 

Don't Judge My Journey

This was the message my Pastor Chad Veach spoke at Zoe Church this morning and it was one of those moments where I knew God was speaking to me... 

the title of the message was "Don't Judge My Journey" and it was coming off a conversation I had the previous night with someone who thought my new "365 Days of Single" journey was a joke...

I know some people think this seems crazy... And I know some people think this is weird.. Others sit back and laugh... ((Let me also state that so many of you are encouraging and amazing and supportive and I love it)) ..

but there are always going to be people that judge you.... 

and I've learned to not care. 

if you care about what everyone else thinks you'll never get anywhere in life. I know that what I'm doing ... This new journey I'm embarking on is what I NEED in my life. 

its a process I NEED to go through because of patterns I've seen in myself... 

no one knows what's best for me besides me... So I most certainly am not going to let anyone else's opinion change my mind about this. 

And with that I say... Goodnight  

Goodnight 😘😘😘 

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

This is more than just "365 Days of Single" to me. ..

this is me, calling out to the universe that I want to go through a process. I want to see a transformation ... I want to get comfortable with uncomfortable. 

The people that know me know I like to live a very crazy (yet organized) lifestyle.

i love my daily routine and if I'm being honest with myself .... I like to stay in my comfort zone.

this year is my year of yes... It's about getting comfortable with uncomfortable. 

and as my friend Mel put it perfectly last night at dinner -- Nothing changes if nothing changes. 

i have to truly commit and vegging stepping out of my comfort zone.

That's my friend Mel... She challenges me and I LOVE HER FOR IT ❤️❤️❤️

365 Days of Single - Age is just a #

prior to this little experiment of mine... My age range for dating was 30+  ...

if someone my age or younger was interested in dating me, I wanted notning to do with it. 

So you can imagine how pleasantly uncomfortable it made me when a 23-year-old asked me for my number.. And I smiled and begrudgingly gave it out!!

because WHY NOT! 

im not gonna lie it didn't feel natural. I knew I was fighting my mind that was saying "Tanya, what are you doing with a 23-year-old... He doesn't even know who he is yet... He doesn't even know what he wants... Don't waste your time..." 

but I pushed alll that noise to the side and did what I needed to do...

and it felt GREAT! 

Now I know this sounds super lame to some of you out there, but for me this was a big step.

My HOW

365 Days of Single -- My "HOW" 

now don't get it twisted.. Just because I'm staying single for 365 days does not mean I can't date.

i intend to date... Say yes more... Have more of an open mind. 

For so long I was dating with the intent of marriage that I felt like I was missing out on getting to know people. 

just because someone won't be my husband doesn't mean they won't be a great person for me to get to know. 

i was so quick to end it with a guy if he didn't check all of my 93 boxes...

By dating freely without the intention of a relationship.. . I believe I will gain a greater knowledge of what I truly want .. And what I thought I wanted before!