365 Days of Single -- My WHY

 Day 1 -- MY 'WHY' 

Looking at the last year of my dating life I’ve realized there’s been 1 common theme – the fun has been completely sucked out.

Dating for me has become more of an interview process. I’ve realized the older I get .. the more I go on dates with less of a carefree mentality and feel like I’m interviewing for a job opening – the opening being my future husband.

What’s on your resume? What’s your dating history? Do you stay up late? I wake up early – Can our lives blend? Should I even go on a second date with you? I’ve even gone as far as asking a guy about his family medical history…

I know, I know … I never once tried to tell you guys I wasn’t a little coo coo .. but hey, aren’t we all?!

Anyway… realizing the problem is the first step.

Next step is TAKING ACTION…

Which is exactly why I’m doing ‘365 Days of Single: Bringing the fun back to my dating life’

By committing to being single for a full year.. I’m hoping this will take the handcuffs off … hoping I’ll take the pressure off myself to find my perfect mate….

Get back to having fun… learning a new person.. meeting new people… enjoying life experiences …. And getting out of my own head and out of my own way!

Happiness is a CHOICE

I don't care what anyone says .... I fully believe happiness is a choice in life. And no one helped me realize this more than my friend Moi.

i met Moi at Children's Hospital of Orange County (CHOC) where I go with my girlfriend Raquelle to do a radio show "RAD Radio". We met Moi at our first broadcast 10 months ago.

He was 16-years-old & just diagnosed with bone cancer in his leg that had spread all over his lungs. 

Moi had quite a fight ahead of him.  

When I tell you I've never met anyone with a better perspective / a better outlook on life than Moi I truly mean it.

He was fighting through chemo and surgeries, and more chemo and more surgeries... But every single time we saw Moi he had a huge smile on his face. Constantly pushing through with the best attitude.

Here he was... Battling through the toughest storm of his life... And he never once gave up, gave in to the pain, he stayed positive, focused, and mentally in it.  

No matter your circumstance in life you can either choose to be bitter and sulk, or you can choose to see the good. 

happiness is a choice... .. How do you want to live your life?! 

I want to live like Moi 

celebrating Moi's last chemo at CHOC 🤗  

Our first ever RAD radio❤️ 

Scared of Happy?!

Talk about music making you realize something about yourself you didn't even realize... 

thats exactly what happened to me this weekend when  I started listening to Fifth Harmony's album 7/27... In particular their song "Scared Of Happy"....

Look at these lyrics: 

I never knew a love that doesn't hurt...Feeling the heat and the burn....

usually fearless... Why am I scared of happy? 

I'm afraid of nothing, I'm afraid of no one....

And it kinda hit me. I keep asking myself why I'm single? I'm dating but I never get too close... Which is so odd because I used to go from relationship to relationship no problem... 

well that lyric hit me hard, I never knew a love that didn't hurt. I've been burned many times in my life.. But this last one burned me to the point that I think I'm actually scared to be happy with someone again. 

im scared to get into anything else because I'm fearing that exact same pain is going to follow at some point....

Thank you 5H for making me realize this giant problem in my life...  The first step is recognizing the problem , now it's time to do something about it! 

Being Content

I've come to realize that a majority of

my conversations right now with friends consists of things like this.... 

"my relationship isn't so great... What if I were single?" 

"I hate dating all these weird men.. Why can't I just find a boyfriend?" 

"my boss is the worst.... What if I got a new job" 

 "I like my job but I need to make

more money..." 

"I like this guy.. But what if he's not the one and I'm wasting my time..."

we are constantly questioning where we are in life and always wishing for something else.

but I've come to realize that everything in life has its proper season... And everything will fall into place when it's supposed to. 

the day I stopped questioning where I was in life -- and why I wasn't where I thought I should be.. Was the day I started feeling content with my life... 

and I have to tell you.. It's a beautiful place to be 💜 

My obsession with Alessia Cara ...

so many of you know I have an obsession with Alessia Cara... ((Hence the nickname OBSESSIA)) 

but let me explain to you why I love her so much (aside from the fact that she is insanely talented and I love her music!)

Alessia is a perfect example of believing in yourself, putting it out into the universe, working hard, and watching it happen! 

she is unapologetically herself and I love that about her so so much!! 

She has literally manifested so many things that have happened in her life this last year and I just think she is such a great role model❤️  

so if you don't know my girl AC get to know her! her debut album "Know-It-All" is amazing... And her current single "Wild Things" is my JAM 🤗🙌🏻  

This has been on my heart...

I've been kinda struggling a little bit lately .....

So I wanted to share my feelings with you guys in case any of you have been feeling this way too!

I've had a couple work things fall through that have made me a little discouraged.... I've had some dating setbacks that have had me a little discouraged lately... 

Why didn't that opportunity come my way... Or, why isn't that guy picking up what I'm throwing down? 

should I text him again? Maybe I should try harder? Maybe I should work harder? 

The answer is no... 

The things that are meant to be in your life WILL BE IN YOUR LIFE ! and the things that aren't meant for you will pass you by... 

but I promise it's because there is something better that you aren't even aware of yet. 

and I truly believe that.. This quote has really been pulling at me lately  

And I am a firm believer in this!  

Sometimes i I find myself being discouraged. It I have to put it back into perspective.

many times when certain things fell through ... Or relationships ended... It's because I was being directed onto a different path... A much better path... And a more direct path to where I'm going :)  

so if any of you are feeling discouraged know you aren't alone! 

You deserve better!

This has been on my heart lately....  ever since I heard this new song by Meghan Trainer! 

if if you are dating someone who is always leaving you wondering if he's into you as much as you're into him... If he never makes you feel secure in your relationship... If the truth just doesn't seem to be there.... 

i gotta tell you... YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! 

Take a listen to this Meghan Trainor and I can assure you, you'll feel just as empowered as I did after!!!

its definitely one to keep on repeat❤️❤️❤️  

After every bad date...

I don't know about you.... But if you're anything like me, you tend to get a little down after a bad date. 

i don't sit there and sulk and feel sorry for myself ... I just tend to get a little more discouraged with every passing bad date. 

almost like:

"how many more of these am I going to have to go on?"

"When will I meet him?"

"Do I remember what butterflies even feels like anymore?"  

theres 1 thing I've started to do after every bad date I go on... And it's think about what my futur husband is doing at that very moment. 

i often think about this quote below: 

What a reassuring thing to think about..... 

i know that there is someone out there for me... But he's figuring out his stuff so he can be ready for me! 

and knowing that I just have to keep going and moving forward makes it a little easier... 

so so if you tend to get a little discouraged after a bad date. Try my method. It really helped change my mental state ... And it's made dating more exciting vs being more of a chore :) 

When you have a good one ...

I know I talk a lot about the importance of having good friends around you in life.. 

ive been thinking about it today a lot because it is a very special birthday... My friend Raquelle Stevens. 

i swear she was put in my life to be a voice of reason. She is one of the kindest friends I have, she is the most selfless person in this city, and she has been a constant in my life through all the crazy up and down.... 

she is a voice of reason... She has a calming presence... And she has an inner peace that reflects outward to the people she hangs out with. She make you feel so comfortable in any situation... And I can honestly say having her by my side the last few years has been SO NECESSARY! 

so when you find a friend in your life (like I found Raquelle) you keep them very close! And don't take them for granted ❤️ 

Being intentional

This is something I've really been working on this year in particular. 

I'm a people person. I love being around people, I love meeting new people, I love hearing people's stories. I just love PEOPLE! 

But I found that as I grow and meet more and more people ... I begin to stretch myself too thin. 

I'm only 1 person ... And as much as I push myself and try to do everything that's asked of me. I've learned I'm doing myself, as well as the people in my life a disservice.  

I have a job that takes a lot of energy (that I love very much so don't get my wrong on this) I have a loving family, awesome coworkers, I have an incredible church community, life long friends, new friends, mentors....  

It can be a lot.  

But I've found being intentional with my time helps keep me sane. I realized that I can't be everywhere and do everything and that is okay! Because I'm a better friend, a better coworker, a better sister, daughter, Aunt....